Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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