I'm eating all of the evidence.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
