Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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