I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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