You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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