you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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