I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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