At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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