well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
