I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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