PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
