Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
