I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
