That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
In America we eat man semen.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
