Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
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If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
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The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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