I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize