I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
