We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
