she looked like the before picture.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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