yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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