I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
