I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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