At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
