you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
This is the high leading the old right now
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize