One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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