I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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