So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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