haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
