Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
