Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
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I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
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he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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