dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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