i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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