college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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