It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize