Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Randomize
