11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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