Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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