Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You need Xanax blowdarts
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
