No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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