So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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