were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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