whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Is it penis luge time yet?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
