spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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