I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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