Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
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