This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
