My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
