I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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