I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
