my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
