Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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