I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
