there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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