Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
