My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
