So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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