Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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