p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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