make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm determined to sit on that face.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
