You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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