you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You can't just leave with hair like that
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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