so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
