she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
