i just google imaged poop.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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