I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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