Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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