if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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